Hello everybody!
Finals are almost approaching, and I’m scraping by with this challenge.
I have 9, maybe 10 bathrooms left which means an average of one a day until my last final on Saturday, December 19th.
Senior Fauver, Eclectic, Payroll, Zilkha, Religious Studies, and potentially this other place on lawn should be cake, I just have to take the time.
Horgan house- I need some help probably.
DKE – If I’m not let in, I will just poop on your lawn somewhere.
Skull and Serpent – This will be my glorious final poop if I am not let in before the 19th. After my final, when the sun has set. I will literally go to the tomb and defecate on the porch. [In a bag, of which I will dispose, because I’m polite like that.] And in that moment I will be VICTORIOUS.
But more importantly,
PRESIDENT ROTH IS GOING TO LET ME IN HIS HOUSE. TONIGHT.
I was at the December Graduation Ceremony in his office, and built up the courage (with the help of wine) to talk to him. Here it is, roughly word for word.
Me: Are you having any more events in your house this semester?
MRoth: No, I don’t think I am.
Me: Well, would you like to hear a funny story?
MRoth: Sure.
Me: Since, as you know, I’m graduating early so I’m not doing a senior project or thesis or anything. I decided to make my own challenge to “use the bathroom” in every building on campus, including your house.
MRoth: …
Me: …Wesleyan…
MRoth: Okay, well I’m having an event at my house at “time” and there will be a hundred people there. You’re not invited, but if you show up, I’ll be wearing a red christmas sweater and can point you to the bathrooms down the hall.
Me: Thank you so much for having us here tonight.
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. TONIGHT I WILL HAVE THE GREATEST POOP AND THE PRESIDENT WILL KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.
Wesleyan Pooping Challenge 